Urquhart and Glenmoriston
Olden Times in a Highland Parish

[556]

EXTRACTS FROM THE DRUMNADROCHIT INN VISITORS' BOOK,   IN POSSESSION OF MRS WELLS, LATE LANDLADY OF THE INN.

In Highland glens, ‘tis far too oft observed,
That man is chased away, and game preserved;
Glen-Urquhart is to me a lovelier glen —
Here deer and grouse have not supplanted men.
JOHN BRIGHT (June 21, 1856).
The above lines by Mr Bright called forth the following:
From Highland glens, for deer and grouse preserves,
Let Bright be chased away as he deserves;
He loves not them, but only cares for salmon,
Seizes each chance of claptrap and of gammon.
W.
We know, Mr Bright,
Your philosophy, quite,
And what nonsense you talk in support of it;
But we scarcely suppose,
Such trash you’d compose,
If for one lucid moment you’d thought of it.
We’ll kindly excuse
This escape of your muse,
Since we know your erratic proclivities;
Here mules and shoddy
Give place to toddy,
And you’re right to enjoy the festivities.
A. K. F.
Nor thousandshere a wretched life-course run
To buy a splendid luxury for one;
Mid stifling walls and sweltering alleys thrust,
In Belial’s atmosphere of devil’s dust,
Doomed by the heartless priests of Mammon grim,
To toil and pale and pine and die for him.
Glen-Urquhart is to me a glorious glen —
Here mules and shoddy have not stunted men.
L. BLAIR.



[557] He praised Glen-Urquhart — If his praise be just,
Why seek to dim it with malicious dust?
How hurts it you that clanking mules afford
To thousands work? Do you, by Progress bored,
Dispense with shirts, because too cheaply made?
Or fail to eat bread cheapened by Free Trade?
J. R. S.
Oh, Drumnadrochit, village dear!
I’ll not forget thy kindly cheer;
While comfort upon comfort piled,
Changes me to a mountain child.
It may be long, it may be ne’er
My footsteps shall again repair
To this romantic, lovely scene —
Yet memory whispers, “There you’ve been !“
How shall I in this simple page
Unfold what thoughts the mind engage?
Or how in words befitting tell
The beauties of this charming deli?
Cease, then! and yet I fain would say
To all who hitherward can stray —
If peace and plenty you would win,
Oh! come to Drumnadrochit Inn!
G. R. (1856).

Stop, Traveller! with wee! pack’d bag,
And hasten to unlock it;
You’ll ne’er regret it, tho’ you lag
A day at Drumnadrochit.
Stop, Angler! with your rod and creel,
If you wi’ trout would stock it;
I have nae doubt ye shall do weel
To stay at Druninadrochit.
Stop, Artist! with your sketching book,
For gin ye can but tak’ it,
At Urquhart Castle ye should look,
‘Tis close to Drumnadrochit.
[558] Stop every one who would combine,
Care both of health and pocket,
You’ll find short bills and breezes fine
Prevail at Drumnadrochit.
Rev. W. DRAKE (14th July, 1857).
Two hours we spent in Edinboro’
To see what could be seen;
And (seeing people,not the town),
Two days in Aberdeen.
Six we allotted to Braemar,
And left for lack of “fare”;
(The inns were full and flowing o’er
So we staid no longer there).
Seven happy days have glided by
Here in this lovely glen;
And if it were but further south
We should often come again.
But, alas! e fear it is too far
From dingy Lincoln’s Inn,
To make it just the place to spend
The “Long Vacation” in.
Mr and Mrs F. SLEBOLM
26th August, 1857).
Ye maun prate o’ the waters at Baden or Spa,
‘Tis Drumnadrochit takes the shine out of a’;
Of our claim to sich honour, judge everybody –
­  Theirsprings gie but water, our “Wells”1 gie ye toddy!
(1861).
Ye tourists all, erratic race,
Who shoot about like Congrieve rocket,
Your ardour calm, abate your pace,
And pass a week at Drumnadrochit.
Geologists, who cannot see
A stone without a wish to knock it,
Just think how happy you will be
Amidst these rocks of Drumnadrochit.

[559]

Ye men of law, awake so wide,
Who pore all day o’er brief and docket,
Just cast your wigs awhile aside,
And keep a term at Drumnadrochit.
                       
And doctors after fees who dance,
And oft a Christian’s life will dock it,
Do give your patients one fair chance
By leaving them for Drumnadrochit.
Dyspeptic folk who cannot sleep,
Unless your couch some potion rock it,
At this calm scene just take a peep,
And try a nap at Drumnadrochit.
Economists, whose only care
Is that bestowed upon your pocket,
From weekly bills awhile forbear,
And try the cost of Drumnadrochit.
Low in spirits, low in pocket,
Come at once to Drumnadrochit!
Sick of snobs, and tired of swells,
Sojourn at these pleasant “Wells ;“
Better door you cannot knock at,
Than the inn of Drumnadrochit.
Cheerful rooms and restful beds;
Pillows soft for heavy heads;
Warmest welcome meets you there;
Best of drink and best of fare;
Leafy shades and winding walks;
Benches set for friendly talks;
Bowers where you may smoke at ease;
Garden humming round with bees;
Mignonette and purple rocket
Scent the air of Drumnadrochit.
The egg is fresh, no need to clock it,
That you get at Drumnadrochit.
Your valise? you need not lock it
When you stay at Drumnadrochit.
No one wonders what o’clock it
Ever is at Drumnadrochit.
Squeamishness has nought to shock it
At the Inn of Drumnadrochit —
Pleasant place! May no one mock it!

[560]

But my song is getting long,
And I think I’d better dock it;
So, farewell to thee, fair Wells,
And farewell to Drumnadrochit!
F. F. (Sept. 1867).
At the end of a more than usually poor attempt to find words to rhyme with “Drumnadrochit” has been written the following:
Your verses, my friend,
You should study to mend,
And should be averse to exhibit ‘em;
But the Islaywas strong
On the night of your song,
And flowed down your gullet ad libitem!
A. K. F. (1865).
Drumnadrochit, 18th September, 1871.
Snug hostelry, whose rugged name
So oft has stirred the bard’s ambition,
I find thy welcome still the same,
Thy bed and board in good condition.
How sweet on genial summer day,
Or e’en in autumn’s sultrier weather,
To reach the dear romantic bay With sunlit castle, wood, and heather.
But what if fate should drive us here
When winter winds lash Ness to madness,
When hardy pines look gaunt and sear,
And stormy clouds clothe hills with sadness!
Ah, let us not the thought pursue,
From gentler thoughts the heart beguiling;
Would that our friends were all as true,
And we knew where to find them smiling!

JOHN SIBBALD.

From Anderson’s “Guide tothe Highlands.”:

“At the mouth of Glen-Urquhart there is a large and excellent inn, Drumnadrochit, long an established favourite with the public, and now still better known to fame by a letter from Shirley Brooks to Punch.”

[561] “The ‘letter’ was written five years ago. Revisiting the excellent inn, I can only add, after a week’s sojourn, that Mrs. Wells is the best of hostesses. Visitors will speedily find this out for themselves, but I wish to do a service to such of them as may not be aware that from Drumnadrochit they can easily (in one (lay) make an excursion to a glen of the most exquisite beauty, Glen Afaric,and that on the road (a very good one) they will see every variety of Highland scenery, rich and wooded, wild and bleak, and a grim, fierce cataract, the ‘Dog Falls,’ worth coming any distance to see. Two days maybe made of it by stopping at an inn on the way, but this is needless — take a basket, furnished here, and dine on tbe side of the lake in the glen. I hopethat no reader of these lines indulges in the idle,UNWHOLESOME,and DEMORALISING habit called smoking, but should one be so misguided, I fear that he will think a cigar by the side of that lake the most delicious weed(properly so called, my brethren) which he ever smoked. ‘I drink his health in a dram,’ and wish him, if not reform, good fusees. V.S.

            “October 3, 1865.                                                          SHIRLEYBROOKS,

“who on the above day went to Glen Affaric with John Philip, R.A., Mr Cassie of Aberdeen, artist, and

“EMILY BROOKS.”

Appendix R